Jermaine Dye - from goat to great

I'm back. I haven't written in a while. Community service is a pain in the ass on many levels. But I've paid my price and I'm back at work, plugging away, bringing you the latest sports news. Late as in its stuff you've already heard by now. Jermaine Dye was instrumental in bringing to Chicago a long awaited title. Nine years ago, as a rookie, having taken up the cod-piece of the injured David Justice for the Atlanta Braves, he was the goat, failing to catch a foul ball that would have cut short a Yankee comeback in what was the longest World Series game on record. Until this year. Dye played in both of them, with completely different results. The missed foul ball wasn't entirely his fault. There was an umpire in his way. It was such a high fly ball that he had time to tap the umpire on the shoulder as if asking him to kindly move out of the way. I was at the game, saw the whole thing. The Dye of today would have roughly shoved the overweight umpire on his prodigious ass and caught the ball. He's learned a lot in the last nine years, in first Kansas City and then Chicago. And it's paid off. He's now a world champion and an MVP. Good for him. Not all goats are so lucky. Some never make it back from the shiny bright light of failure, becoming has-beens, aging before their time. The exciting point guard who throws a no look pass with two seconds on the clock into the third row of seats. The slugger who struts down the first base line only to see his ball bounce off the outfield wall, robbing his team of a scoring opportunity. The running back who starts his celebration early only to drop the ball on the three yard line while doing a flip. Famous chokers rarely recover. But Dye did. Good job, dude. You deserved it. The Astros did all they could to give several games away, a national league trademark. It should be the American League and the Left on Base League. How many stranded Astros does it take to screw in a light-bulb. None, because they never make it home. Harsh you say? Hell yes I'm harsh! By the way lemonade makers: don't fuck with a winning streak, as Kevin Costner once said. If you win because the dome is closed, then don't open the dome. It's simple. Something someone in Astro-land forgot. This is one long grammatically incorrect treatise of sports writing rage, but I don't care. Corporations have screwed up the game with all their sponsors and asshole CEO's handing out trophies and talking about their crappy businesses. I've had it with them. Do they think this works, seeing some bloated sweaty suit handing out checks? You see it in tennis championships all the time. I don't care if they do sponsor the event, I don't want to see their filthy mugs on television. They're usually pasty of skin and dull of voice and exuding greed from every chemically peeled to no avail pore.

That's all for now. Chandler Colfax! has left the building.